


Clues (i'm giving them to you)

by sammyspreadyourwings



Series: PhD(umbass) [2]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: 5 Times, Clueless Brian May, Dumb!Brian, First Dates, Flirting, Fluff, Getting Together, Humor, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Miscommunication, Multi, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Brian, Recreational Drug Use, The Boys are Trying(tm)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-20 06:36:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20223427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammyspreadyourwings/pseuds/sammyspreadyourwings
Summary: The boys try to flirt with Brian.Or"5 times someone drops a hint only for Brian to pick it up, brush off the dust and hand it back to them"





	Clues (i'm giving them to you)

**Author's Note:**

> Woo another dumb Brian prompt! This one is a little more humor centric than the last and slightly more exaggerated with Bri being dumb, not too badly, but I'll leave that up to you guys.  
That being said, enjoy.  
Oh and that second quote is credited do the anon prompter. I thought it was funny. Moving on!

> **5**

Roger drops a plastic bag into his lap. Brian looks up in confusion, while John and Freddie look on with avid curiosity. He sets down his pen on the table and carefully opens the bag.

“It isn’t going to bite you, Brian,” Roger sighs.

“Maybe it might,” he chuckles.

Inside is a plain white box. He pulls it out and frowns.

“They’re fancy vegan chocolates, the grocery store got them in today. Supposedly they’re really good.”

Brian grins at Roger, “thank you.”

“Also this,” Roger extends a bouquet of purple an pink flowers.

“What?”

“For you,” Roger blushes.

“Thank you,” Brian takes it. The scent is pleasantly faint, “but why do you have flowers?”

“I bought them because I saw them and thought about you.”

“How sweet,” Brian sets the white box onto the coffee table, “I’ll go put them in water.”

Roger is giving Brian a strange look. Both Freddie and John have fallen together poorly concealing their snickers.

“You know, if you treated your girlfriends like this, they might not break up with you.”

For some reason, Freddie and John only start laughing harder. Roger nods slowly.

“Yeah. Maybe.”

Brian smiles again and disappears into the kitchen, where he hears a loud groan from Roger. Freddie says something in reply.

“But it’s obvious!”

John quiets Roger. Brian reaches up for the vase that Roger’s mother had given them when they moved in and promised to keep live flowers on the dining table. It’s bright blue with waves etched into the base.

He carefully loosens the band holding the bouquet together and then drops it into the vase before covering the ends with water.

They really are lovely. It was a nice gesture from Roger.

> ** 4**

John trails his eyes down Brian’s body. Brian shuffles nervously under the gaze, unsure of what John could find offensive in his dress. It’s supposed to be a casual date, they’re just going to the museum to see a space exhibit.

“Have I got something on my face?”

“What?” John shakes his head, “no. You look nice. Lovely even.”

Brian flushes, wishing he heard those words under different circumstance, “thank you.”

He straightens his shirt again. The buttons gleam in the low light. Freddie had picked it out, saying something about how the buttons reminded him of stars. He figures it’s a nice thing to wear to the planetarium.

“I’ll admit I am jealous,” John says quietly.

“Oh? I’m sure Ronnie will tag along with us if you want to go on a double date.”

John sighs, “I think she’s busy today with her actual partner, but maybe you can take me sometime?”

Brian spins, surprised to hear that John wants to go to an exhibit with him. More often than not John looked (pardon the pun) spaced out when he rambles on about the cosmos.

“Really? You’d want to go with me?”

That makes something on John’s face change, he looks excited, “of course!”

“Oh, maybe we can get Freddie and Roger in on it too, and make it a band bonding day.”

John’s smile looks like a grimace, which Brian supposes going to a museum with Freddie and Roger doesn’t exactly sound like the easiest thing, “yeah. Band bonding.”

> **3**

“Brian!” Freddie whines.

Brian looks up with a tilted head, “yes Fred? What is it?”

“I’m bored.”

He sighs, he thought that this was supposed to be important, “well, read something. Work on that song you’ve been talking about. I have to read this chapter before tomorrow.”

Freddie huffs. Brian raises his book at the last second when their frontman burrows into his lap, leaning against him. He adjusts and uses Freddie’s shoulder as a chin rest.

“You know what would cure my boredom?”

“Hm?”

“Let’s have sex!”

“No, Fred,” Brian flips a page, “I have to read this.”

He smiles at Freddie’s loud _harrumph, _“are you even listening to me?”

“Mmhmm.”

“I killed a man.”

“That’s nice.”

“Roger helped.”

“Good for him.”

“I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Freddie leans back, with a dramatic groan. Brian lifts the book again, somehow managing to get a straight highlight on the text. He winces as Freddie wiggles and their crotches brush together.

“Brian!”

“Yes?”

“Can you take a break in fifteen minutes and play music with me for an hour?”

Brian looks away from the page. Freddie’s eyes are large and begging. It’s been a quiet weekend with Roger going off to the beach with some friends and John buried in the labs for finals. He hasn’t been much company, and Freddie hasn’t gone out.

Not that he can say no to Freddie (he’s far too gone to do that) but it does make him feel like a rubbish friend.

“Yeah, that sounds perfect.”

> **2**

John’s feet are resting in his lap and Brian leans his head against Roger’s shoulder. Freddie is currently raiding their kitchen for finger foods. A thin cloud of smoke hangs around their heads. He takes the offered joint from Roger only for the blond to pull from it again.

“Hey!”

His face is suddenly cupped, the joint somehow making it into the ashtray, Roger blows out smoke. Brian inhales automatically, his brain fuzzy around the edges as the smoke settles into his lungs. The high travels lower and makes him feel lazily aroused.

He turns back to John who is watching with rapt interest, Brian looks back at Roger who seems blissed out and looks like he wants to kiss someone. He wants to know if there’s some kind of feeling behind shotgunning. Brian reaches down for the joint and takes a long drag before setting it back down.

John reacts to his grabby hands by sitting up. He leans forward as Brian blows the smoke out in a steady stream. It's interesting to watch John bring it in with his mouth, a touch closer than him and Rog, and their lips almost brushing. He can’t figure out why Roger reacted the way he did.

“Aw, are we having a make-out session?” Freddie returns with a bag of crisps.

Brian is distracted with the thought of food, but Roger hooks a chin over his shoulder.

“Say, we should see who kisses the best.”

“How can we judge _that?” _John grins.

“Brian, he’s not really much for kissing right now, but he’ll be kissed, right B?”

“What, yeah.”

Freddie tosses the bag of crisps to him. Brian hesitates in opening them, “do we want to do this before we eat?”

John wiggles his eyebrows, “maybe we won’t have to eat, you know, get our fill with kissing.”

“Ah, I’d rather have the crisps then.”

> **1**

It was nice. Granted, this was a strange way for them to spend Bonding Day, but Freddie had organized it so Brian figures it could’ve gone much worse. Roger looks nice in a styled three-piece with red silk on the lapels. John is slightly dressed down, his suit jacket open to reveal a deep purple velvet vest. Freddie looks absolutely stunning in a yellow suit jacket accented by gray pants and a gray silk tie.

Brian wonders why he’s chosen this upscale restaurant out of any of Freddie’s other bonding plans. This is where you take your date if you want to make them your fiancé, not have dinner with your best friends. Although, this is the only restaurant in the area that’s vegan/vegetarian menu is nearly as impressive as their traditional menu.

“This is nice Fred,” Brian says after a moment, “did a date take you here?”

Roger and John both perk up from where they’ve been shoving their salad around their plates. They look almost hopeful (ever since their foiled kissing contest a month ago things have been strange. Did they really care who was the better kisser?)

“Would it matter if I said yes?” Freddie smiles coyly.

“No, but you were dating that vegetarian awhile ago, so I thought that’s how you found it.”

“No, I didn’t come here on a date,” Freddie pushes a tomato off his plate.

Roger snatches it and bites with impressive force.

“I looked for a restaurant like this for you.”

All three of them looked at him. Brian raises his eyes to the ceiling. Had he forgotten an important date? No. It’s October, so everyone’s birthday has passed. They don’t celebrate the day John became their bassist. There are no holidays for a few months yet. So it’s just a regular band bonding day.

“Thank you,” he decides to say.

John buries his face in his hands.

“John?”

Freddie shrugs, “he just doesn’t think we have to be thanked for considering you and your preferred diet.”

Brian nods, “it is nice, to not have to eat _another _salad or pasta.”

The waiter stops by to refill their wine glasses. Roger’s raises his to the sky in a rather unenthusiastic toast.

“To another failed – Ow! What the hell Deaky!”

Brian tilts his head. Maybe Roger and Dom are on the outs again.

> _ **+1** _

John sits down across from him and grabs his hand. Brian looks up with a frown. Roger and Freddie are perched on the chair watching with slightly bemused expressions. Brian squeezes John’s hand when John brings his second one to hold it.

“John?”

“Brian,” he says slowly, “I’m going to talk to you, and you’re going to listen, okay?”

He doesn’t get why John is talking to him like a five-year-old. Had he forgotten to do something?

“Brian, are you listening?” John says again.

“Yes, I am,” he scowls, “stop talking to me like that.”

John shakes his head, “desperate measures.”

Brian rolls his eyes. He flops as dramatically as he can into the couch given that John has one of his hands and he can’t pout to complete the look.

“Okay. I’m listening.”

“Are you?”

“Yes, now tell me what you three are on about!”  
Roger is snickering into his hand, wheezing when Freddie delivers a well-placed elbow.

“People who love each other usually confess right? After they’ve tested the waters to see if a person is interested.”

“Did you get someone pregnant?”

At that Freddie starts howling. Roger falls on top of him and the chair gives an ominous creak. John shoots them both a dirty look. He turns that look onto Brian.

“No. Not lately.”

Brian frowns, “what?”

“Bad joke,” John waves one hand but quickly returns it to Brian’s.

“Okay, yes. You flirt with someone to see if they want a relationship, that’s what you’re on about?”

“We’re on the same page,” John nods.

“For once!” Brian can’t really tell who said that.

“John just say it! Don’t waste everyone’s time!”  
“Roger, Freddie and I love you. Not just as a friend. Not just as a member of our family. But genuinely in love. We want to kiss, cuddle, and fuck you –“

“Maybe not in that order,” Freddie calls out.

“But we are so in love with you.”

Brian blinks. He doesn’t get where this sudden confession is coming from. They would’ve done something for him to notice they wanted to change their dynamics. Was this just a one-time thing to get a foursome?

John flicks his forehead, “what are you thinking?”

“You skipped the flirting part.”

“Nope,” Roger pulls himself back into a sitting position, “we tried. Really.”

Brian doesn’t remember a time that they did.

“Brian, my love, for as much of a genius you are with space and with music, you’re a rather oblivious person.”

“Cut it off, Fred. I would’ve noticed.”

“I gave you flowers and chocolates, which is part of a Standard Taylor First Date package.”

“The vegan chocolates?”

Roger nods, “even if they are vegan, I think they still count as chocolate.”

“And I asked you on a date,” John interjects, “to the museum, but you made it a bonding day. I even said I was jealous.”

“Of the girl,” Brian says slowly, things are starting to fall into place, “not of me.”

John nods, “now he gets it.”

“I literally said I wanted to fuck you,” Freddie chirps.

“You’ve said that to me when we first met,” Brian counters.

“Touché, but still, pretty big hint. And! The kissing contest! Did you really think that’s something friends would do? Even while high?”

Brian shrugs. It could be. He doesn’t know what other friend groups do while high. To be fair he also really wanted those crisps.

“And then last week, when we took you to that fancy restaurant. You even said it was a date restaurant.”

“I was told it was bonding day!”

John drops his head against his arms, “we realize now we need to be more direct.”

Roger jumps from the chair to the couch and wraps around Brian. His lips tickle the outer shell of Brian’s ear, “very clear, no misunderstandings so you have to repeat everything back to us.”

Freddie’s arms surprise him as they wrap around his shoulders, dislodging Roger temporarily, “and no distractions either, so you hear us. Because I told you I loved you and you were too busy reading.”

Brian nods. His stomach is doing flips, but he wants to hear the words, this time free of the exasperated tone he’s evidently given the others. He knows what his answer will be but he’s still shaking.

“So Brian,” John says, “given that we’re madly in love with you, would you like to date us?”

“Well,” Brian says slowly, causing the other three to tense up. He smiles drawing the moment out.

“Given that I’m madly in love with you three, I’d like nothing more.”

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there you have it. Deaks saving the day by spelling it out for them.  
Also I kind of thought about this being a sex-positive ace!Brian when I wrote it (more demisexual) but that is certainly up to y'all and how you want to read it. As always leave your thoughts and comments below or come talk to me on tumblr!


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